Thought this article was funny, especially since my husband and i have been planning to start a family for ages... :b

Kidding Ourselves into Delayed Parenthood
By Cheong Suk Wai of The Straits Times

AT 16, my game plan was to be a housewife and write on the side.

At 21, I was still bent on marrying a kind man, having two children, and banging out the Great Asian Novel when the dishes were done and they were tucked into bed.

Now pushing 34, wishing that aloud always sends friends and family into fits of laughter. They say they can sooner see me moving pawns than peeling prawns.

God, too, had other ideas.

So here I am, without a mate or mite, trying to figure out why young couples these days are reluctant to have children.

I think my Singaporean hostel mate - let's call her Pippa - said it best when we were debating for the umpteenth time the pros and cons of bringing another baby into a world where millions of children are aborted, orphaned or abused.

After I pushed my case once too often, Pippa sputtered in exasperation: 'How do you expect me to have children when I'm a child myself?'

That shut me up.

Pippa is but one among the world's growing number of kidults, or adults who wear the mask of maturity but prefer to pander to their inner child.

Those I know, like Pippa, say they feel ill-equipped for parenthood, because they don't see what values or lessons they could honestly pass on to their progeny, besides self-centredness and a passion for the good things in life.

Writer Kara Baskin summed up their free-wheeling angst in The New Republic magazine last October when she characterised them as 'a generation raised with more creature comforts than any other (but) lacks the purchasing power to acquire peace of mind'.

To get it, she said they are trying to live by not acting their age.

So they party hard, have chips and cola for breakfast and tune in avidly to taped episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, a chirpy cartoon character who looks like a wedge of Swiss cheese on its way to Sunday School.

No wonder the latest Nickelodeon TV survey shows that more than 30 per cent of Spongebob's fans are 18 or older. But even if their tastes run to more sophisticated stuff, their yen to abdicate bigger-picture responsibilities rages on.

As Ms Jane Ang Guat Peng put it in her letter to The Straits Times Forum page on Dec 19 last year: 'I am married, in my late 20s and enjoy a lifestyle most other married graduate couples enjoy: wining and dining, tasteful clothes, travel and a career. Why give up all these for a baby?'

Why indeed. More than ever, this planet is a 24/7 fairground of luscious and luxurious attractions for all to sample at will.

Yet, how many stiff drinks, late nights and beds can one quaff, dance away and conquer before the thrill of postponed adulthood begins to wear thin?

Sociology professor Frank F. Furstenberg Jr of the University of Pennsylvania told The New York Times recently: 'Ask most people in their 20s whether they're adults and you get a nervous laugh. They're not sure.'

He said this was because the longer transition to adulthood reflected a global economy in which people chased more paper to get better jobs that would comfortably support middle-class living.

As copywriter Tan Yen Nee, 24, told The Straits Times recently: 'We can't expect a decent standard of living with a child. We've got our housing loan and we are saving up for a car.'

So, many like her postpone parenthood till they get that vital MBA - or is it a doctorate now? - or that plum job.

Meanwhile, their once-healthy sperms weaken and good eggs rot in an ageing cycle no antioxidant, Botox jab or scalpel can stop. Being a kidult is not all about being selfish, though.

With the untold uncertainties of war, fluctuating markets, disease and terrorism, many see this world as a poor place to live in, let alone bring kids up in.

This seems especially so in urban living. All anyone wants after a long, hard day at work is some peace and quiet, and a bawling baby or pillow fight is anything but.

My primary school classmate, Jenny, mused recently how our friends living in small Malaysian towns were onto their second or third kids, while she and every urban dweller she knew couldn't see how to fit even one child into their lives.

'Tells you something, doesn't it,' she said ruefully.

That seems borne out by our parents' experience. Those among them who had no silver spoons had to grow up and leave home in a big hurry.

Their pay packets were that much harder to stretch, yet somehow people saw the worth of investing in children first; TV set, car and everything else second.

Maybe there weren't as many entertainment choices - at least not those they could afford - so unprotected sex was pretty much the height of recreation.

Maybe they just loved having children around.

Or maybe, in their own way, they wanted to leave the world a better place than they found it.

That's how you, I and everyone we know have had the chance to breathe air, touch grass, see sky.

I think our parents understood that just being alive was an experience worth passing on.

Do we?